Human Events sends out an email on this theme each day, and each one has the number of the day of the year it represents.
Some of them are very good, and I've selected a few to share.
No. 301 - Pick a fight with a liberal on: IMPERIALISM.
Liberals hate imperialism because in their mind it's all about the big bad West holding its big bad sway over the rest of the world. Liberals are much more comfortable with Western retreat and "multiculturalism" than with Western dominance and triumphalism. But America, Canada, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, India, and Australia did pretty well out of imperialism, didn't they, inheriting the ideas of English liberty and law, free market economics, representative government, the English language, etc.? And if you think some people wouldn't welcome a return of imperialism, you might take a trip to Zimbabwe and see what the starving folks there have to say.
No. 298 - Blame the BP oil spill on the green movement.
Because BP spent all those millions re-branding itself as "Beyond Petroleum" and trying to "greenwash" its image by buying into renewable energy, it forgot how to run its core business—drilling for the sticky black stuff the world needs far more than it needs solar power or bird-chomping wind farms.
Teach a liberal a little science: the sea is full of microorganisms that eat petroleum (which is leaking from the seabed all the time).
The BP oil spill in the Gulf, which was supposed to have despoiled the region for decades, will likely have little long-term effect on the fishing industry or the ecological health of the region. Yes, the oil spill was a "disaster," but the idea that we would never again be eating Gulf shrimp or oysters or be able to enjoy the region's beaches was pure eco-hysteria and fear-mongering. Liberals, like little bratty children, are very good at screaming and pointing fingers and passing blame ("It's his fault!") or issuing threats (like Obama's joke of an Interior Secretary Ken Salazar saying he was going to keep his boot on the neck of BP—that really helped)—or Obama haplessly asking whose ass he should kick—(ditto); but it's conservatives who generally keep their heads and get on with the job of fixing the problem. All the liberal hypocrites did was cripple the tourist industry along the Gulf Coast—in typical liberal fashion making a "disaster" worse.
No. 295 of 365 - Quote P. J. O'Rourke:
"The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
No. 284 - Conservative history:
Never let liberals forget that the sub-prime mortgage disaster was Bill Clinton's fault. In 1995 President Clinton's changes to the Community Reinvestment Act enabled ACORN to run a politically correct extortion campaign against mortgage lenders, compelling them by force of law to make unsound (sub-prime) loans to poor minorities who never stood a hope of repaying them.
No. 276 - Quote Thomas Sowell:
"Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it."
No. 267 - Start a rumor:
President Obama is indeed a Manchurian Candidate—but not in the way you might think. In June 1999, a shadowy cabal of right-wing business interests found themselves feeling so utterly nauseated by the Clinton regime that they devised a plan to ensure that by 2012, no Democrat candidate would ever be elected president again. First they needed a Manchurian Candidate: someone so hatefully leftwing and disgracefully incompetent that he would bring the American economy to its knees, while rendering it an international laughing stock. In this way "liberal values" would be tarnished forever in the eyes of American voters. So far, the plan is working brilliantly.
No 258 - Tell a joke.
Q. What's the difference between Obamacare and a car battery?
A. The car battery has a positive side.
No. 256 - Define multiculturalism:
State-sanctioned grievance industry that stokes division and resentment, while always under the delusion that it is doing something positive called "celebrating diversity."
No. 253 - Conservative party game:
Liberals always like to consider themselves bastions of tolerance. So push the boundaries with this little game, as personally tested with enormous success by your author. Buy your kids a pack of those realistic fake cigarettes which puff out dust at the end so it looks like your kid is really smoking. Tell them not to be too obvious about it, but next time you find yourself at a social engagement where kids mix with grown ups, get them to wander around "smoking" nonchalantly as if it's something they do all the time. For maximum impact, you could even have them come up to you and say, "Dad/Mom. You got a cigarette?" "Sure son," you can reply, retrieving a fake cigarette from a real pack and "lighting" it for them. The important thing is to make absolutely no comment and act as if this is all the most normal behavior in the world. Relish the liberals' tension and discomfort as they agonize over how best to confront you over your disgracefully lax parenting. It really is about as fun as fun gets.
No. 247 - Quote Ludwig von Mises:
"Whoever prefers life to death, happiness to suffering, well-being to misery must defend without compromise private ownership in the means of production."
No. 245 - Affect puzzlement at the curious fact that the 2002 Beltway sniper murders were initially blamed by investigators on an "angry white man."
Then wonder why, after the perpetrators were discovered to be inconveniently black and Muslim, the liberal media persistently referred to killer John Muhammad by his pre-conversion name John Williams; and why authorities chose to play down the possibility that the cold blooded assassination of ten Americans by two Islamic converts rambling about jihad had anything to do with terrorism or the "Religion of Peace."
No. 239 - Pick a fight with a liberal on: SOCIAL STIGMA.
Liberals are forever congratulating themselves on having all but eliminated the "stifling" codes of disapproval by which the pre-1960s generations dictated socially acceptable norms. But "stigma" was good. While stigma existed, poor people were too proud to beg or rely on welfare; girls were too ashamed to be thought "loose" or to seek single motherhood as a lifestyle choice; men were more chivalrous because there was a stigma against treating women without deference and special consideration; and people were more polite and even dressed properly as a sign of respect for others and themselves. "Stigma" was the means by which free citizens could agree on a mutually satisfactory code of behavior, without the agents of the state having to poke their noses into anyone's private business. Liberals, however, utterly reverse the equation—they're all for obliterating taboos, knocking down stigmas, shocking the middle class, and preaching tolerance for the most anti-social behavior; and then they turn around and act as the biggest advocates of the government dictating private behavior with the nanny state. The consequences? Greater government intrusion; much worse behavior.
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