Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 08, 2015
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Friday, March 02, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
American showing their abysmal ignorance about ... most everything
There are several people who give Americans the opportunity to show how much they know about their country, the world, personalities, and other such topics, and when we see the results it appears that their goal was to show how stupid people are.
Unfortunately, people eagerly cooperate in this endeavor.
One of those people is Tonight Show host Jay Leno, whose "Jaywalking" episodes are good examples of the genre. Herewith, a Best Of Jaywalking:
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Installment II: From the Human Events calendar
No. 304 of 365
Agree that JFK was one of our greatest presidents, part two. Ask your liberal friend which part of JFK's agenda he liked most: JFK's pledge to increase defense spending to close the "missile gap" with the Soviets, his supply-side tax cuts, his commitment to halt communism in Indochina, or his rousing anti-welfarist line, "Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country."
No. 307 of 365
Tell a joke: An elderly senator, exhausted and ill from enacting Obama's health-care plans, goes to the doctor. Doctor says: "I have bad news, good news, and bad news, Senator. The bad news is that you only have six months to live. But the good news is that there's an operation that is 100 percent successful in curing this illness." "That sounds great. So what's the other bad news?" asks the senator. Replies the doctor: "The Department of Health and Human Services says the first available slot is seven months from today."
No. 308 of 365
Tell them they're WRONG. Liberals hate being told they're wrong: a) because the truth is always painful; and b) because in their warped, liberal world, "right" and "wrong" are alien, almost forbidden concepts. That's why liberals prefer terms like "appropriate" and "inappropriate," because they're non-judgmental. So go ahead. Judge them. Because they're WRONG.
No. 312 of 365
Patiently explain to a liberal why their hero Michael Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story depends on an entirely false premise—that capitalism is the same as corporatism. Most of Moore's targets in the movie are the unwieldy, corrupt corporations that his hero Obama has spent so much taxpayer money bribing and bailing out. They've got about as much to do with the free markets that conservatives favor as Michael Moore has with charm, wit, or healthy salads. And if he really has such a problem with capitalism, what was he doing allowing movie theaters to charge audiences eight bucks a ticket? Shouldn't he have used some of the vast fortune he has earned from books and movies railing against capitalism so that his vital public service announcement could be put out for free?
No. 313 of 365
Pick a fight with a liberal on: SELF-ESTEEM.
One of the great excuses made for the poorer performances by certain ethnic groups is their "lack of self-esteem"—which comes, of course, from the sense of inferiority imposed on them either consciously or unconsciously by the white, elitist, capitalist, male hegemony. Much of this stems from research conducted by black socialist Kenneth B. Clark using his infamous "doll" tests. He showed black children in segregated schools a black doll and a white doll and asked which they preferred. When a majority chose the white doll, he argued that segregated schooling lowered black self-esteem. But Clark was a professional grievance-monger and a fraud. What he did not mention was that in research he had conducted in integrated schools, black children were shown to be even more likely to choose the white doll over the black doll. Clark's junk sociology was the basis for sweeping legislation forcing integration in schools through wildly unpopular school busing programs that tore communities apart; and it's also responsible for more recent findings that American kids do worse than many of their international counterparts on academic tests—but think of themselves as being great, and much smarter than they really are. What self-esteem really is, is another liberal assault on a Christian virtue: namely, humility. We could all use a lot more of that.
No. 314 of 365
Pick a fight with a liberal on: LIBERAL MEDIA BIAS.
Quote the "great"—and remember to use the air quotes—Walter Cronkite: "I think most newspaper men by definition have to be liberal; if they're not liberal, by my definition of it, they can hardly be good newspapermen."
No. 316 of 365
Tell a joke: Q. Why should liberals be buried 100 feet below the ground?
A. Because deep down they are really good people.
No. 318 of 365
Quote Competitive Enterprise Institute Founder Fred Smith Jr. "The threat posed by humans to the natural environment is nothing compared to the threat to humans posed by global environmental policy."
No. 319 of 365
Settle down your liberal friends for a festive game that will provide hours of fun. Give each of them a copy of the Obama administration's 86-page report (produced by Clinton-era appointees Togo West and Admiral Vernon Clark) on the Fort Hood massacre committed by an Islamist terrorist and see who can be the first to find a reference to Islam.
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
What's wrong with Washington, DC
Barack Obama met with the Queen of England.
He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle."
The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Tony, please answer this. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Obama went back home and asked Joe Biden, his vice president, the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one"
He went to his advisers and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.
Finally, he ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Sarah Palin answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!"
Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face,
"No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON WITH OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
Sunday, July 03, 2011
New Ruger issues honor
special groups of Americans
Ruger firearms has issued two new models honoring special groups of Americans.
The first new issue honors our Representatives and Senators, and is called the Congressman.
The second issue honors American workers, and is called The Union Worker.
As with the special groups they were crafted to represent, they don't work and you can't fire them.
(Thanks, Fred)
Technorati Tags: Humor, Funny, Entertainment, Politics
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
My Holiday Wish For You
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
Fine print: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
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Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
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